anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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