Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
