my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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