just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
