remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
