Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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