sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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