i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
What drink are we having for lunch?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
