wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
