New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize