apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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