her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
