her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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