Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
