i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
