New invention idea: vibrating tampons
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
