it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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