So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize