What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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