idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize