Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
