Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
