Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Randomize
