1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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