I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize