Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
