it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
