Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
