MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
