She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
