There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
