Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
