D3 body, D1 cock
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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