Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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