I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
