His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
