you would pick up someone in the library
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
