After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
