Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
