Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
