The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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