the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
