i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
