im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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