i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
