drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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