so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
