Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Where is the hickey?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
please come you make the beer taste better
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
