come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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