i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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