Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
