i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I need water and some morals
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