just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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