Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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