We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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