I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
