so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
